“i waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay. and He set my feet upon a rock, making my footsteps firm. and He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.”

sitting in the hospital… it’s not likely your baby will get better.
someday this pain will be a story you tell.

holding your last paycheck… don’t know how you’ll make ends meet.
someday this moment will be a story you tell.

getting divorce papers in the mail… never thought you’d be alone.
someday this rejection will be a story you tell.

holding the empty bottle in your hand… you’ve lost your family.
someday this journey will be a story you tell.

crumbling to the floor in disappointment…again.
someday this loss will be a story you tell.

standing at the graveside… how do you even begin to say goodbye?
someday this grief will be a story you tell.

will you tell about His love, His compassion and His grace?
will you tell how His words, moved you through this place?

like the woman at the well.
what story will you tell?

history says she went to the well
at a different time than all the other women.
because hers was a story that told itself.
all those husbands.
all that shame.

she had no idea that her story was about to change.

change her.

forever.

because that day at the well, Someone was waiting.
Someone who knew her history.
knew her loss.
knew her pain.

Someone who came to change her story.

“whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst, but the water I shall give him shall become in him a well of water, springing up to eternal life.”

“come! see a man who told me all the things I have done;
this is not the Christ, is it?”

“and they went out of the city, and were coming to Him…and from that city many of the samaritans believed in Him, because of the word of the woman who testified.”

because of the story she told.

in an instant, her story had become one of
freedom
deliverance
acceptance
forgiveness
joy
love
celebration

and everything that had gone before
had brought her to the place
where her story changed.
where she met the Changer.
Jesus.

wherever you are today…
whatever pain or loss or disappointment you are experiencing
is seasonal.
and no season lasts forever.
someday this season
will be a story you tell.

what story will you tell?

let Jesus fill you.
right in the middle of this season.
invite Him in.
feel the well of water spring up inside you.
and overflow
to the point
that others around you
see and believe
because of your testimony
of how He changed you.

from the inside out.

but all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner.
first Corinthians 14:40

i’ve been getting things in order.

no, i don’t expect to die soon. that’s not it.

it’s because i realized the significant toll “out of order” was taking on me. and i was weary of living stressed, frustrated, tired, crunched for time, and generally angry at people.

something had to change.

and that something was me.

in the scriptures, Jesus talks about peace. life. freedom. grace. “a Way” to live that hears, recognizes, discerns, and accomplishes the purposes of God.

well, to live that way i need to be available to hear and respond.

available meaning less busy. and having things in order.

i’m not talking about OCD order.

i’m talking about knowing what i have and where to find it. so that precious time is available when God invites me to partner with Him to serve someone. somewhere. for something eternal.

a few months ago, i spent a considerable amount of time organizing some key spaces in my home and classroom at school. i looked at patterns in my spending (money and time.) i prayed for wisdom, checked out a few websites, listened to several podcasts, and began to get some things in order.

i took an honest look at my schedule. some worthwhile things had to go, simply because i couldn’t afford the time/distance to continue. other things, like prayer time and bible study, were adjusted and increased, because time spent with God affects everything.

i took an internal inventory. asked God to show me what doesn’t look like Him. waited for answers. found some discouragement and disappointment. some unbelief. some idolatry. discovered some bitterness and resentment hiding. acknowledged. confessed. repented. invited Him into the empty spaces. thanked Him. and moved forward.

i’m also talking about knowing what i have “control” over and what i don’t.

i can’t control the way someone else treats me or the way they do relationship. i can control my response and how deeply i let their behavior soak in. i can control who i spend time with. and how much time.

certain spaces in my house are not within my control. my husband’s music room and shop area contain his belongings. he decides what goes, what stays, and how it is organized. so i can let that go. and focus on the areas within my control.

i cannot control when meetings and events are scheduled in my workplace. i can control how many hours i spend in my classroom after the workday has ended.

so i got some things in order…

i was not prepared for the instant benefits.

not at all.

suddenly i found myself with time on the weekends to plan and shop for meals.

i’ve established new boundaries for work, and these days i arrive home early enough to actually cook dinner.

i spend almost no time searching for materials at school or items at home. i know what i have and where to find it. i’m content in my home. i’m content in my classroom.

i’m getting to bed earlier, sleeping better. eating healthier.

i’m pretty sure i’m nicer to those around me. #fewer frustrations.

in the scriptures, Jesus says, “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”

in reality, what am i offering those around me?

what do i want to offer?

i want to offer peace. joy. love. faith. encouragement. i want to speak Life over others. i want those things to overflow.

and that wasn’t happening.

so i got some things in order.

and God is speaking.

and i am listening.

and responding.

and change is taking place.

from the inside out.

“two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” ecclesiastes 4:9,10

so my husband and i spontaneously decided that today would be the day to begin pulling up the bricks on our back patio. all manner of unsightly mold and weeds have grown there for years, and well, enough is enough.

as we loosened, pulled up, loaded, hauled, and stacked bricks one at a time, almost immediately I began seeing parallels between the work of the patio and the work of our marriage relationship.

*transformation is hard work. and sometimes painful. we were exhausted by the end of the afternoon. both of us complained of aches and pains, but the progress we made was visible and rewarding. marriage is hard. enough said.

*this work was messy. and we both ended up covered in dirt. today won’t be the only messy day, either. there will be plenty more as we progress through the steps of the renovation. the end result will be beautiful.

*building something significant takes time. there are A LOT of bricks on that patio. it won’t change in a day. we will have to stay committed if we are to experience the benefits of the work we’re doing.

*the progress may be slow. “what??? we’re only 20% done? it looked like more to me.” we worked so hard, it was a bit disappointing. so, we’ve decided to celebrate what we have accomplished, not judge ourselves for what we haven’t.

*to make room for the new, the old must go. we can’t leave the bricks AND renovate. if we want something different, we need to evaluate what isn’t working. this is some of the hardest work in a relationship. it’s also some of the most necessary.

*some of the bricks didn’t make it. they ended up in pieces. marriage is tough. there will be pain and heartbreak. how do we respond? we forgive, pick up the pieces, and keep going.

*we encountered “enemies” as we worked today. bugs, worms, snakes. we decided not to let them distract us; we dealt with them and continued on.

*we struggled with some very strong weeds; weeds that needed to be pulled up from the ROOT. if not, they will just grow back. why continually fight against the same unwanted interferences? find the root. extract it. throw it out. once and for all.

*teamwork is key. once we realized our strengths, we could each contribute more to the process. i was most efficient pulling up the bricks; tim hauled and stacked. at sunset, we both stacked, racing the clock. it worked beautifully.

*we don’t have the whole picture yet. right now it doesn’t look anything like a patio. we didn’t get all the bricks up, and there are still lots of weeds and dirt. we’re not exactly sure how it’s going to go, but it will all make sense at the end. we’re going to stay the course; see it through.

*even if you start late, you can still get a lot of work done. we should have done this years ago. but we didn’t. we accomplished a lot in two hours today. in our nine years of marriage, we spent the first six arguing about everything and fighting for control. the last few, we’ve finally begun to consider the other as more important than ourselves. it’s accelerated our sense of partnership more than we could imagine.

*that cup of cold water tim brought me refueled my body. and in marriage, simple acts of kindness refresh the heart and soul.

*humor goes a long way. “did you get my butt in your brick picture?” haha. “no, tim, maybe next time.” and in our marriage, words cannot express how God has used our senses of humor to sustain us along this journey.

*at one point we had to take a break. and breathe. and evaluate. we talked about next steps. made a plan for completing the project. marriage is like that too. Sometimes you just need to step back, take stock, and be intentional about where you are headed together.

it was a productive day. we’re looking forward to creating a backyard space we can enjoy with family, with friends, with one another.

brick by brick.

and in our marriage relationship, we journey forward with a renewed sense of encouragement, commitment, and love as we continue to build our forever partnership.

from the inside out.