psalm 51

“for i know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.  against You, and You only have i sinned, and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified when You speak, and blameless when You judge.”

isaiah 53

but He was pierced through for our transgressions, and He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed.”

so i started out sleeping on the couch last night.  because i was a bit angry.  at the tim.  i lasted a few hours, then went to bed.  not gonna lie.  still a bit angry.

this weekend our small church is holding a 48-hour prayer watch leading up to pentecost sunday.  we chose this morning’s  4-6 a.m. slot.

it was a quiet ride in.  yep.

we walked across the dark parking lot into the sanctuary.  the only ones there.  i said well, i’m gonna find a spot, and i know you’re gonna play the piano.

wait, he said.  we can’t pray like this.  not with this tension.

so we sat and processed it out, right there in God’s house.  it took some listening.  it took confession.  it took some grace.   it took forgiveness.

it took an hour.

let’s pray together before we separate, he suggested.  and taking my hand, he prayed these words over us…..

“God, we’re broken.  we’re so broken.  show us where we’re selfish, arrogant,  proud, unloving, critical.  show us our sin, what doesn’t look like You.  show us how to do better.  how to love better.  You’re our only hope.”

we spent the second hour separately in worship and prayer, confessing our sin, crying out to God for our own healing and for healing in our marriage, families, church, community, nation, world.

so many broken people.   angry and hurting, breaking other people.

listen, we don’t have what it takes to fix it, to heal it.  if we did, then Jesus died for nothing.

so….. where are you taking your “broken?”

take it to the One whose body was broken for yours.  the One crushed in your place.  the One whose power conquered broken when He burst out of that grave.

we don’t have to stay broken.  healing is waiting.

cry out to God.  give him your hurts, disappointments, weaknesses, offenses.  give Him your confusion, your anger, your rage, your addiction.   He can take it.  He wants to take it.  and exchange it for freedom, strength, forgiveness, and the love of Christ.

Jesus alone can heal your heart.  your mind.  your attitudes.  your body.

Let Jesus heal your broken.

from the inside out.

“my sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” psalm 51:17

you wouldn’t think that waking up at 3:00 a.m. to the sound of something breaking would excite someone this much.

but i am.  really.

like i wanna dance up in here.

you see, it’s the answer to a specific request i’ve made for the last 2 days.

i’ve been asking God to break us.  of all that doesn’t look like Him – our pride, arrogance, self-righteousness, judgment, religious spirit, selfishness, wastefulness, idolatry.

all those things that are in the way of us experiencing who God is,  what He has to say, what we’re called to do.

so at 3:00 this morning we awoke to the sound of breaking glass in our bedroom.  turns out our little mini-split hvac unit decided to defrost in the middle of the night, and hundreds of little ice crystals were breaking up inside.

of course, i know in my spirit it’s much more than that.

it’s God saying yes to my prayer, letting me know that He is doing exactly what i’ve asked.  a prophetic picture of God’s work in our lives right now.

in a lot of ways, it doesn’t feel very good.  breaking never does.  i broke my kneecap in december, and i thought i would never recover; it was incredibly painful throughout the entire healing process.

did you catch that?  “throughout the healing process.”  breaking leads to healing.  i can tell you that my kneecap wasn’t the only healing that took place during those months. i’ve definitely emerged from that season with insight and gratitude i didn’t have before.

there was purpose in it.

something was born from the breaking and the pain.

like seeds splitting apart to allow new growth.

there are numerous references in scripture – literally, figuratively, prophetically – to breaking.  in so many, God used circumstances to break a person’s own agenda, so that the kingdom of God would advance.

abraham and isaac.  joseph and his brothers.  esther.  job.  king david.  king solomon. jeremiah.  ezekiel.  peter. the apostle paul.

the Lord Jesus, whose only agenda was “to do what I see My Father doing.”

we break the bread of holy communion as a picture of the body of Christ, broken for our transgressions.

and out of that most awesome breaking?  our souls find salvation.  through the pain of repentance and healing, we find newness.  Life.  purpose.

continue to break us, O God.  give us eyes to see Your hand, ears to hear Your voice, hearts that turn toward You, and feet to share Your gospel.

reveal to us our idols, and every single thing that steals our attention, our love, our devotion.

break us of our own agendas, so that Your kingdom might advance.

from the inside out.