“the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. may the name of the Lord be praised.” job 1:21
i don’t even know what to say….
it took all i had to get out of bed this morning.
today is my brother’s birthday. except he isn’t here to celebrate.
we lost him six weeks ago.
and although he was sick…
no one
no one
no one
expected
that he would not triumph.
the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away….
may the name of the Lord be praised.
may the name of the Lord be praised?
i’m not feeling it.
not today.
today i’m torn apart.
today i grieve.
today i question.
God, help me
my brother is gone
and there is nothing i can do about it.
there are no words for this ache.
no way to describe this loss.
we lost our parents young
and never dreamed
we would not grow old together
with our families.
i’ve never felt more alone.
i believe…
God, help my unbelief…
and yet
and yet
through tears that seem to have taken up permanent residence within my soul
i know
i know
i know
that my God is real
that the heart of my God is moved by my pain.
that Jesus prays for me.
that i am never alone.
the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away….
may the name of the Lord be praised.
from the inside out.
Inside Out 
Mary, May our God of peace bring you comfort today…like food prepared in the presence of your enemies. He will use your transparency via your annointed gift of writing to comfort someone else walking through the valley of shadows. Jehoval Jirah, provide comfort to Mary’s soul; Jehovah Rafah please heal her broken heart over time; Jehivah Shama, remind Mary that you have not forgotten her and are with her. Be more than enough in her desperate pain and grief…
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thank you, thank you, thank you…..
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Prayers, dear one! I love you!
So beautiful…your honest heart and words. Only Jesus can truly know and understand the depth of your pain and sorrow….and He is there.
Have you seen The Shack? It might be too hard for you right now but then again it might also give you comfort. I remember you read the book about the time I did. I wondered how they could make the movie BUT…I felt it was one of the most beautiful things I’d seen.
Love you more!
Shawna
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Precious and real words my friend! Thinking and praying for you and Tricia! I still just can’t believe it myself. Life will get better yet it will never be the same. Love you! ♥️
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Mary, your hurt brings tears along with many emotions. I lost my brother 3 years ago on April 9 after a very short illness. Feeling very alone. One night I had a dream so real that I know he communicated with me. I now have peace. I pray that you will feel our Lord and all the angels wrapping their arms around you. It will take time and your grief will persist. But you are not alone. Much love to you, prayers for your peace.
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jane, i had no idea. i am sorry. healing on you too. ❤
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Sweet Mary, I am praying for you in your grief. May God give you His peace and comfort your heart with His love. He is so faithful. I love you. ❤
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Mary, I feel your pain of loss because of the loss of 5 of my siblings in the past few yrs. Lord, we lift Mary to You for Your special comfort,peace, and affirmation that she will see her brother again. Only You knew his heart and all the circumstances so we trust You to do for Mary all that she needs. You are our wonderful Comforter,Counselor,and Lord. Wrap her in Your arms and minister Your peace and love to her. In Jesus’ Name, amen
Vivian
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thank you, vivian, for praying over me. i cannot even imagine struggling through 5 losses in a few years. i am praying for you as well.
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Hi Mary,
Please know I am praying that our Father will be the “Lifter of your Head”, that he will comfort your broken heart as only He can do. And I also pray that the precious memories you have shared will last far longer than the pain you currently feel. May His presence be very real to the point you can literally feel His arms holding you. You are very much loved!
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Thank you, Lib. ❤️
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